How to choose your heart

I used to roll my eyes when people told me to listen to my heart. Because frankly, I had no idea how.

But I’m learning. And here’s the secret:

Hearts whisper.

So it’s easier to choose your heart if you’re quiet, too.

What makes YOU quiet?

It’s different for everyone. Running, jumping, building, breathing, dancing, painting, hunting, drawing, cooking, writing...whatever makes YOU feel quiet, contemplative. Whatever makes you feel most like YOU. Do that.

Now that you’re quiet, what’s coming up?

Even when we’re able to find a quiet, contemplative place, our thoughts can be Real Loud. Tune into that voice that’s talking at you.

Ask yourself: Whose voice is it? If it’s loud ... if it uses phrases like “yeah, but” or speaks in absolutes (“never” & “always” are clues) ... if it sounds just like <your mom, your boss, etc>; if it’s not saying anything you’d say to your best friend or child, great! You’re totally normal.

Also, this Loud Voice is not your heart.

Fear not!

Your ❤️ is still there, even with the loud ass voice hammering in your ear.

Tell the Loud Voice you love it, and you’re grateful for it for keeping you safe.

Can you get even quieter?

Here’s a trick to get your Loud Voice out of the way. Ask your brain, What am I going to think next? Learn to notice the spaces between your thoughts. It’s hard at first. But the more you practice, the easier it gets.

So what does my heart sound like again?

You might not recognize your heart the first time you hear it. It’s quiet. It’s soft. It loves you so much that it would never say something you’re not ready to hear.

You don’t just hear your heart in your mind: you feel it in your body. Your body will literally relax. Messages from your heart feel big—suddenly life becomes more exciting, less mundane—expansive. It’s beautiful. You lose touch with your pain.

Remember: you’re not your Loud Voice.

Often for me, the minute I “hear” my heart, the Loud Voice comes back. Saying stuff like, you’re dumb. Nobody likes you. You’re wasting your time.

Loud Voice pulls out all the tricks, trying to lure you back into that smaller world by battering you with “logic” and fear.

And this is when you can use your thoughts to say, hey, Loud Voice, thanks for sharing. I know you think you know best, but I kinda dig that feeling my heart gave me.

And you can feel back into your body. And feel back into that expansive thought (cuz once you feel it, you can come back to it, anytime you’d like—it’s YOUR heart, after all).

Ask your heart questions.

When I hear my heart say something new, I sit with it. I notice how I feel. And my feelings tell me if it’s true.

My Loud Voice usually pops in right about now, to tell me all the ways I’m wrong. It’s not much fun, but for me it’s part of the process.

My heart, on the other hand, doesn’t waver. It waits patiently for me to accept it as true. Then it waits patiently for me say, ok heart, since you insist:

Can you show me the next right step?

Then pay attention. If something comes up and you start overthinking again, guess what—it’s not your heart!

Your next right action will flow naturally—no overthinking, no need to make a pros/con list. You’ll just go with it.

Of course, it’s possible you won’t see HOW that next right action relates to your heart’s truth. The next right action could be a nap. It could be a walk. It could be to keep still and do nothing.

You’re safe to trust this space.

It’s the space of miracles.

It’s where you’ll find yourself surrounded by synchronicity, saying things like:

I took a nap and when I woke up, that work problem resolved itself!

Or:

I listened to my heart and went for a walk and met the person of my dreams—what are the odds?

And you can LOL as your Loud Voice begins tallying up those odds, then rest in the comfort of the loving knowing of your whispering ❤️.