I’m Willing to Be Uncomfortable for You
Author’s Note: Saturday night, I had a dream. In that dream, the first line of this essay was given to me. I didn’t write it down. I thought about it, but I was also willing to let my wakeful amnesia take over. Unlike most dreams, the memory was not wiped. The line stuck with me all day. So, I tried something new. Though I had zero idea about what came next after this opening line, I explored it. This is the result.
You’re about to see a whole lot of relationships come to a sudden end.
There are many small reasons. One reason is really big.
Humanity has reached a choice point.
Evolve or repeat.
From this point on, we have no other choice.
There’s nothing here we need to fear. In fact, the more we look at the circumstances that surround us and say, “I’m willing to evolve,” the more supported we will be, in our relationships and beyond.
When it comes to our struggles, pointing fingers to place blame on others is no longer going to fly. (This is for reasons we’ll discuss at another time.) BUT, I think we can all agree: time and again, we’ve shown how this strategy doesn’t work. In our personal relationships and beyond.
The world is a shit show. This is news to no one.
And, despite my ability to spew sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows Care Bear style into this world, I am grounded in reality. Humanity is embarking on a time of great change. It’s a wonderful thing. Except for the part where we gotta wade deep into the shit in order to remember its beauty.
(All that to say, this shit is not going away anytime soon.)
But, good news. You have a choice about how you move through this.
You can choose to evolve. Or, you can choose to repeat cycles that keep you stuck in the stink.
(I’ve chosen both options. “Repeating” is easier in the short-term. “Evolving” isn’t easy on us humans but it’s oh-so-sweet for the soul.)
As we face this choice point, we can accept that things need to change. And the kind of change the world needs is the kind of change that happens when we look at the role we play in our relationships and beyond.
You can choose to say, in all of your relationships:
❤️ I’m willing to grow.
❤️ I’m willing to grow with you.
❤️ I’m willing to shift into new ways of thinking and new ways of being, even when it’s scary.
❤️ I’m willing to be uncomfortable with you. And for you.
For me. For my evolution.
Because I am choosing to evolve for me, this will also impact you. And if our relationship is to continue, you will choose the same. For me. And it might look like words like this:
❤️ I’m willing to do hard things for you.
❤️ I’m willing to stop being scared of my own shadow.
❤️ I’m willing to remember my joy.
(Not, as it is, my happiness. No, I’m willing to admit that what makes me feel temporarily “happy” is possibly disrupting my capacity to feel joy.)
Equally, I’m willing to remember why I came to this beautiful planet.
❤️ I am willing to bet that I did not come here to suffer.
❤️ I am willing to bet that I can remember what brings me joy.
❤️ I am willing to practice being present with my own unique expression of joy.
❤️ I am willing to acknowledge what’s dark inside me in order to be more present with what’s light.
Of the hundreds of thousands of words that I’ve written in this lifetime, this is the first and only time I’ve been given a line from a dream. Prior to dropping me this writing prompt, the dream was that dream where you’re supposed to be in class and you think you know which classroom you’re supposed to be in but somehow you wander into a wing of the school you’ve never stepped foot in and you want to explore it but dammit you’re late for class…
Anyway.
My daughter said the first line felt scary and ominous. But it never felt that way to me, even as I received it. The line’s energy felt hopeful. And so do the words that flowed from it.
Admittedly, I did feel a little tinge of victimhood, with my ego chiming in to remind me that I’m not in a relationship. Which, my higher self calmly pointed out was false: Not only am I in relationship with my world, my community, my family, and my friends–I’m always in an ever-evolving relationship with myself.
I have no idea why this line popped into my dream. Is it true for all? Who freaking knows. But I feel it is true for me. It felt like guidance for relationships of all kinds.
I will do my best to choose to evolve. I will be willing to let go of those who are unable to do the same for me.
Whatever may come.
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